Loneliness has been with me since then. From an extrovert to an introvert person. I suffer. However, there are things that I did to fight this feeling. I guess I have to share these things to help others as well. This is not my own battle. If you’re suffering from loneliness, I offer this help for you.
Being lonely is a sign or can lead to depression. You change your lifestyle and start to build walls. You hardly speak and share your ideas. You feel anxious and feel awkward and out-of-place around your friends, family or to anyone else.You feel lonely and your situation makes you stay away from everyone. Everything is too far which make you feel much lonely. You’re afraid of everything. The walls around you are your comfort zone. Saying you’re okay with it but actually not. You’re feeling sadder.
If you’re suffering from loneliness, I offer this help for you.
1. Know your problem
You can’t fight loneliness unless you yourself are really aware with your situation. You know that you’re sad but you’re not aware. This just means that you are in denial. You don’t accept the feeling or the fact that you are lonely because it is hurting you. It is hard to show to people that you are sad. It’s fine but at least you accept the fact that you are lonely. When you realized it, it is a good sign because actions and solutions come forward.Then, ask yourself why you are lonely. Why are you lonely? What made you sad? These questions are important. You have to be true to yourself. Sometimes, people are just lonely because they build up things to make their selves lonely.
In my case, rejection and detachment are my reasons. I am afraid that people will leave me.
2. It’s okay to cry
Every night, you cry before you sleep. You even wake up early in the morning just to cry. Every negative thing pops on your mind especially the things that you’re afraid of – not the ghosts or monsters, but the reasons of your sadness.It is okay to cry. Everyone is allowed to feel what they are feeling. You might be crying because you’re thinking about your past and/or being scared with your future; it is fine to release your emotions than to keep it 365 days.
There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning.
3. Don’t abandon happiness
People have this mindset, “I don’t want to be happy because the next day, great sadness will come.” Well, I understand that you’re afraid to be hurt again but don’t abandon happiness. It is an emotion too. It demands to be felt. Do not push this feeling away because this is your relief. It gives you a break in being lonely.
Do you get what I mean? Once you laugh and felt happy in one day, let it be. Don’t let sadness dominate your happy feelings.
4. Learn to share
People start building walls because of other people. People hurt people. Your friends hurt you. Your family hurts you. Your schoolmate. Your workmate. The one that you call “best friend” could even hurt you.I started building my own wall and not sharing my own problem when people don’t listen to me. You might be feeling the same. You have tried to share the heaviness of your heart but people don’t care. They listen but they don’t understand so you stop sharing.However, there will be an instance that you really want to explode. The feeling is too heavy. You want to release it. You want to share it. You want people to understand you. You want a solution. You need an advice.
I guess you have many friends. You have group of friends or family. Thus, pick of those groups who you think will listen, care, and understand you much about your problem. It is scary, I know, it’s not your nature because it’s outside your comfort zone. The fear of rejection is within you, but just please take one step. Speak.
5. Face your fear
Walls are around you. It is your comfort zone. You are happy in your place and feel safe from people. However, loneliness will not be gone if you don’t face it. Now, what makes you happy? What are the things that don’t make you feel lonely? Is it being with your friends? Are the computer games fill in your emptiness? That’s good then. It is good that those things could make you happy; but, the question is, to you rely on that? I am happy with my friends. I don’t feel lonely, but I was being asked “What if your friends are gone?” Think about it. There are no permanent things in this world. People come and go. People come and go but don’t you set aside and build walls. Know that people come and go. Accept it. Accept that you will be alone again BUT don’t make yourself miserable. Do not rely yourself to the things, it is impermanent. Learn to accept each fact that the things or people that you have may be gone someday.
ACCEPTANCE is the key. You are accepting the challenge. That challenge is your fear – fear to be lonely. So, FACE IT!
I told myself, “There will be a time that I will be lonely again. It is sad but I am not gonna stuck myself to that.”