What happened to me lately | Anxiety

Moving-on is one of the hardest things I do. I’m not clinically diagnosed but I know I have either General Anxiety Disorder or depression or both. That’s why I limit myself from drinking coffee.

My issue from last year was hard to forget. Though I felt fine, there were still times that the pain kept on coming back. Lately, that certain sadness came back; so, again, I am trying to get back to my senses and escape from that pain. However, it was surfaced with a new issue.

1
The rain that day had caused a heavy traffic. It was six in the evening and I hardly got a jeep back home; so, I rode one going to a different route. I got on the wrong ride at first so I got off and crossed the road. There were flower shops. I appreciated the flowers that time and wanting to buy one for my mom – I remembered I’m broke. It was no longer raining so my travel wasn’t much hustle. I got two rides and the last one was very unusual. It was quarter to eight. We got stuck in traffic but I was at ease sitting beside the driver. I took my phone and started to continue the poem I wrote. Seconds after I turned it off, a mask man grabbed my backpack and declared the thing – the “h” word. The lady beside me was empty handed. I was still holding mine. I looked at the masked lad as he was grabbing my bag. It was not my bag so I didn’t let it go. He pointed his gun to my throat. I didn’t let go. The lady beside me was crying.

2

I really wanted to swim. I miss the beach in Zambales. I really wanted to stay and live there. If other people felt good after eating ice cream, I feel good when I swim. The night after the day of the incident, I told my mom I wanted to swim. I thought she wouldn’t let me but she let me. My friends had their outing at the park in the Metro and it was great for me to be with them.

The water is very therapeutic. It distracts me from what happened. I wasn’t scared with what happened. If I die, then that is how I die but it was traumatic. I hate the fact that bad people make noises. I even hate that it happened to me but I remembered what the Lord told me that day

Do not repay anyone evil for evil… Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. (Romans 12: 17& 19)


He pointed his gun to my throat. I didn’t let go. The lady beside me was crying. She told me to let go. So, I gave myself a chance to live.

 

I’m alive and safe,
Clarence

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